It has become apparent to me that there is a common issue amongst the masses. Through personal experience and collective confirmation it is clear that sex has become skewed in modern society. This is not anyone’s fault, we have just been grossly under informed. When we are left guessing, it leaves a lot of room for errors.
The biggest reason I labeled this article in the way that I did is because although sex is an exchange of energy, woman are on the receiving end. Woman are literally receiving a non self part into their bodies. This requires deep levels of care and trust. Combined with the fact that our pleasure center is not located directly in the vagina, it also requires a certain level of understanding about how the vagina works from our partner. Women need a steady stream of stimulation in the clitoral region during intercourse.
The head of the penis and the clitoris are very similar, but located in different places. The clitoris is located outside of the vagina, just above the opening of the vagina, underneath the lips (labia.) This is very basic yet extremely important information if you want to know how to please a woman. In order for a woman to start feeling deep pleasure she needs clitoral stimulation. If you head straight for the vagina you will miss all the juicy goodness. We could compare this to giving a hand job without ever touching the head.
The clitoris is highly sensitive and longs for soft, gentle touch. When I say gentle, Im talking VERY gentle, especially at first. Check in with your partner about the amount of pressure that feels best for them. Asking these types of questions opens a gateway to a better understanding of your partners needs & vice versa.
This continues on into the act of sex. Because the clitoris is above the vagina & not in the vagina, this area must remain stimulated. Many penis’ like to enter the vagina and proceed to pound town, but this is not going to yield the best results. Since the clitoris needs to remain stimulated in order for the vagina to feel deep pleasure, the clitoris needs to feel a steady pressure.
Think of this like a fire. You take time to prepare the fire before you light it. You organize the kindling & pieces of wood and eventually add the flame. Once the fire is lit, it needs a pretty consistent stream of attention, especially in the beginning. You keep adding more and more pieces of wood and blow air to make it burn stronger.
It is the same with sex. You take time to prepare the body, to add layers of pleasure and love to it. Finally it’s time for intercourse, you insert the penis and start pumping it around. It feels so good for the penis because its pleasure center is located right there on the head, it is receiving constant stimulation inside of the vagina. It can be easy to forget that this sensation is not the same for women. Although it can feel great to get penetrated, if the clitoris is not being stimulated eventually the fire will burn out.
The biggest and most valuable thing I want us to realize about sex is to SLOW DOWN. Think of sex like a practice. DO NOT rush through it in any way. Take time exploring and playing with your partner’s body. The longer you spend exploring the higher the build up becomes & the more your partner wants you. Get to know your partner’s naked body. Massage and take pauses. Make eye contact, think about your partner's pleasure before your own.
We have been taught to feel shame around sex. We were never taught how to figure out what we like and what we want during sex, let alone how to ask for it. Without having openness and honest communication during sex, it is always going to be a challenge to leave truly satisfied.
I believe that porn has a lot to do with the current misconceptions of sex. You see woman on these videos getting plowed with large penis’ screaming and yelling like it feels so good for her. This is not the reality. This is acting. This is actually the opposite of what you want to be doing.
When done thoughtfully and carefully by both people, sex can be pure magic. It can take you to a place far beyond this dimension into pure bliss. In order to reach this space you must feel truly comfortable with your partner and share a true connection. You will not be able to fool your body into thinking there is a connection there with someone when there is not. Your body will let you know very strongly if the connection is not real.
Spend time looking in the mirror naked. Get comfortable with your naked body. We are all naked under these clothes so becoming comfortable naked is very helpful for having a better sex life. If we are spending energy on being self conscious when we are with a partner, it takes away from energy that could be being spent enjoying pleasure.
I’m getting off topic now, but all of this is important stuff! The main point I wanted to make for this article to remind all you guys out there is to take special care of the clitoris!! Think of it as the gateway into the vagina. For all you guys out there that already know this, kudos to you! Please teach your fellow penis friends.
We live in a society that idolizes sex but doesn’t know how to do it right.. We live in a world that puts male pleasure over female pleasure, we live inside our bodies but we don’t really know how they work. Until we can start being open and honest about this issue, we are all going to continue to lose.
Next time you are going to have intercourse, focus on the pleasure of the other person. If we did this more then I’m sure that both parties would leave way more satisfied than if they were merely concerned with their own pleasure. Let’s keep this conversation going you guys!
Cheers to sex that puts you on another planet!